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When Michael Lockwood was a single divorced dad, he'd often write down dating advice that he planned to give to his daughters when they grew up. Here's an excerpt. Too many women sell themselves short by settling for a man with an attractive exterior. A man who is overly concerned with himself and his material things has no room to value you. This is a dynamic that has always baffled me. Just because a man is good-looking, wears a shiny new suit, sports some Now and Later gators, drives a shiny new car, and profiles a new Rolex on his wrist does not mean he is a good man.
Watch out for men who spend money frivolously. I had a woman tell me how flattered she was when her boyfriend booked her a posh hotel room, filled it from corner to corner with freshly cut roses, and had an expensive dress lying across the bed just as a surprise to show her how much he cared about her.
But if the brother is broke, you have to question his motivations and his sanity. He must use whatever tactics are at his disposal to get the go-ahead for intimacy from a woman.
Applaud your man when he exercises good judgment. This brings me to my next point: red flags.
Instead of those flags just sitting there while you ignore them, let me wave a few of them for you. If your man is constantly spending money on you without regard to price i. Relationships will always frustrate you until you understand this very important concept: Men need to be challenged.
This means that once a man feels he has you effectively under control, he will move on to the next prey that presents a greater challenge. As a rule, you should be elusive enough to keep the hunter hunting and accessible enough for him not to quit. That means for you should to continue to live your life. Continue to spend time with friends and family.
Demonstrate that you have a fulfilling life. Society basically dictates that a woman should have a man on her arm. This additional pressure has changed some rules of the game. Once a woman passes the age of thirty or so, she is expected to be married and have a couple of crumb snatchers. What society thinks of you can best be revealed by the dumb questions people ask. What are you waiting for? Better alone than poorly accompanied. Do you remember me talking about how men had to court women in order to gain their good graces? Again, men are aggressive by nature, with animal-like instincts — they are hunters.
Now, years later, we put him back in the wild. Check out what happens: He can no longer hunt. He has become lazy and apathetic, and patiently dies because he is no longer accustomed to hunting for his own food. The same is true for men. They are so accustomed to women chasing them that they have become lazy and unwilling to hunt. Now, who created this monster? Ladies, always Check out men before dating your dignity.
Keep him hunting. If he is serious about you, he will do what it takes. He should start by putting a ring on your finger. Valentine's ideas for every stage of your relationship. As a hunter hunts, he is very observant of everything around him. Show him you can cook and clean and you can be the breadwinner if need be and that you can meet his needs both in the home and out. You want him to crave those qualities you possess by not receiving them all of the time. You must keep some of the cookies in the jar. You want him to see the benefits of marrying you rather than keeping you merely as a girlfriend.
These are the things that keep a hunter hunting. Here are ten tips that will help you keep the hunt alive:. Some hunters hunt to survive; others hunt as a hobby. The playa hunts for the sheer sport of it. Women are often cautious of the infamous playas, but these are the men you want to keep close.
It could come in the form of money, power, fame, or just game in general.
Keep these guys close. Study them carefully. Be mindful not to get caught up, now, because these are the very men who are capable of selling ice to an Eskimo and breaking down the most defiant woman. Befriend a playa or two. Your goal is to gain knowledge. Observe his actions. Be patient because he will be more focused on getting to know you better than allowing you to get to know him.
A true playa never completely rules you out. You are always fair game. When you gain his trust, he will share more information than you ever cared to know. Take the time to pick his brain. Most playas are proud of their tactics and are more than willing to hip you to the game. They know just what to say and do in order to obtain their objective. He wants his kryptonite to beat down your God-given power. He wants to get you to do the things he wants you to do, when he wants you to do them. He arms himself with charm, charisma, and a huge dose of confidence.
Many women get caught off guard because they expect him to be easily identifiable—tall, dark, and handsome with a body like LL Cool J. However, playas come in all shapes and sizes. You can spot one by his charm that attempts to disarm.
Be careful not to fall into his trap. Just observe. Here are a few playa secrets every woman should know. I know a few men who are going to hate me for revealing these, but my daughters have a right to know. Yes, married men have mad game too. He wants to get you in bed without putting his family in jeopardy, so this playa attempts to find a woman who has just as much to lose as he does, which is what makes this strategy work.
But I suggest finding someone else before you end up just like his wife — cheated on. All that does is increase his desire to conquer. He approaches you with sheer charm and genuine interest—no lines, no looking you up and down, no crap. His goal here is to subtly show interest without you fully understanding he is crazy about you. He must show he is kind, charming, successful i. Sounds simple, right? Well, here is where he gets you. He plays your competitive nature against you.
Now, when you find out that your stallion is a zebra after all, it is critical not to raise a whole lot of sand Check out men before dating it. Displaying your anger will do nothing more than get your own blood pressure up. He will always have an excuse, so why go to battle? Juggling women is just what a playa does. The right decision is just to move on. Never waste your time trying to change him, or any man for Check out men before dating matter. It drives me completely crazy when a woman is given all of the clues but chooses to stick around because she feels that she can heal a man of his playa ways.
Again I say, move on. All rights reserved. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Share this —. Follow today. More Brands. It means you should take a critical look before going forward. You just might find love in Online dating s expected to surge this month Jan.Check out men before dating
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